Part 6: The Confectioner Takes a Bride 1910-1914

Pota Haralampakos

Greek women were a rare commodity in Washington in the early 1900s. An overwhelming number of Greek men came here solo, often with the intention of getting their economic acts together before returning to Greece. By 1911, the Cokinos brothers had created a successful chain of candy stores with their cousins James and Dan.

Ad from Washington Herald November 1911

Peter Cokinos became a naturalized citizen on November 3, 1913. Woodrow Wilson had been inaugurated, and legislation was in the works to deport and restrict immigrants - especially those from Southern Europe. At this point, no one in our family wanted to go back to Greece involuntarily. The men in our family were here to stay. 

Adam Cokinos found his bride Kalliope Condrackos in Philadelphia. He and “Katy” married there in 1912, and returned to Washington to raise their children. (Katy would introduce her sister Georgia to another Washington Greek, Steve Demas, and Steve gave George Cokinos a badly needed job in 1935, but that's another story.) In the meantime Adam and Katy added three girls to the Cokinos family: Jean, Mary and Thetis.

Being a patriarchal society, the Cokinos men were easier to trace than the maternal side of my family. My father had always stayed in touch with his family in Greece, but when I asked what my grandmother’s maiden name was, he shrugged. It had been so long since the subject came up, he wasn’t even sure how to pronounce her last name. “Haram- something,” he said, shrugging.  He did remember that she sometimes went by “Bertha Harris” which seemed wildly random to me. 

Fortunately I found a wedding announcement in an old photo album which told me the name was Pota Haralampakos. The first two syllables indicate light and joy, and the last -“akos”-refers to being from Laconia which is where Sparta is located. This detail was reassuring since we do know Pota was from that region of Greece.

My father remembered that when Pota first came to this country, she lived with her brother Tom and his family in New Jersey. Dad thought that Tom's wife Christine was less than thrilled by her sister-in-law's arrival. I think this photo was taken in 1912 - possibly just after Pota moved in with the couple and their son George who was about two years old.

I tried to find out something about Tom Haralampakos on Ancestry, but came up disappointed. Then I remembered what Dad said about Harris so I went with “Tom Harris” in New Jersey and got way too many possibilities. Finally I plugged in the name “Harris,” his estimated birth year and checked the box for his country of origin as “exactly Greece.”  

Bingo. 

Up popped “Thohas Harris” from Sparta, living in Elizabeth, New Jersey. with his wife Christina and children in both the 1920 and 1930 censuses. 

Tom "Harris" and daughter

A 1915 New Jersey census listed Thomas as a 28 year old man, married with two children. His wife is named Christina and the children are George who is 4 and Anna who is 2. Both children were born in the US. His birth date was listed as 1887, and this stays true throughout the censuses. I have since found a Greek record of his birth confirming this date. By 1920, Tom owns his own home and candy store and has three children.

At a lunch with our cousin Ruby Pelecanos, I happened to learn that the Haralampakos family wasn’t actually from Sparta.  Ruby said that her father Nick Kendros first met his wife, Kiki (Alice Tagalos), through my grandmother. Curious, I asked Ruby how Pota knew Kiki who lived in Annapolis, Maryland—nearly an hour from Washington, DC.

Ruby seemed surprised that I didn’t know. She told me both Kiki and Pota were from St John (Agios Ioannis) a small village near Sparta. Ruby told me it's like saying you were from DC when you're really from a suburb like Bethesda.

This tiny scrap of information was thrilling to a history nerd like me, and served as an important reminder to talk to older relatives and family friends. The photo below shows our extended family on the front porch of 909 11th Street, The photo may have been taken by Ruby's father, Nick Kendros who is not in the picture. (Ruby remembered that he had a camera. )

L-R seated : Nick Cokinos, Pota Cokinos, Ruby Kendros (baby in lap of her grandmother ) Kiki Kendros and Louis Mandris  a friend. not sure about the two kids in front. Kiki's parents,  Grandfather Harry Tagalos  in the back. 

My father’s only maternal Greek origin story was a vague tale featuring a man mowed down by a stray bullet in his own yard around 1911. This was my father's explanation of how his mother came to live with her older brother Tom in the U.S.   I found this old photo in Yiya's album, and it seems to corroborate the story as her mother is wearing the traditional black garb of a widow.

Possibly Tom,  Stephi and Pota Haralampakos

According to Greek tradition, marriages were arranged by the parents, and romance wasn’t necessarily a factor. The potential groom might be consulted on the deal, but girls had little or no say in the matter. If the girl’s father died before she was married, responsibility shifted to an uncle or a brother. This is why I think Pota was shipped off to America to live with Tom and Christine. 

When trying to figure out when Pota arrived,  I used Ellis Island’s search engine. The closest match was “Panayota Haralambacon.” The ship sailed from Gythio which is the closest port to Sparta, and the date was the same year of arrival that Pota gave to a census taker in 1920; July 8, 1912.

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Back on Ancestry, I plugged “Panayota Haralambacon and the ship’s date and found a digital version of the ship’s original messy document. The first name is almost illegible; and the last name does look like "Haramlambacon." Her home was listed as St John, (thank you, Ruby) and her destination was Elizabeth, New Jersey where she was to live with her brother. She was described as a 22 year old single woman with black hair and brown eyes, occupation “servant.” She was traveling with her brother-in-law, Sophocles Karas. She listed "Dem" Karas -his wife and her sister as her closest living relative in Greece. 

All in all, I am thinking this was my grandmother despite the name variation. The Greek alphabet muddies many names in translation.

Two years later, possibly through the Greek confectioner’s version of match.com., Pete found his bride still living with her brother, Tom who also was a candy store proprietor. Though somewhat older, Pete was a handsome, successful bachelor who owned his own home and business.

This was probably an arranged marriage, settled on between the two men. Any record of a possible courtship is lost to the past, The wedding announcement that I found was concise and to the point. 

“Peter Cokinos and P. Haralampakos will be married on July 30, 1914 at 3 o’clock pm. At 103 First Street, Elizabeth, New Jersey and will leave for Washington the same day at 6 P.m.”

So much for a honeymoon.

Recently I requested their marriage certificate and discovered they were actually married on August 8, at 5 pm. The last name listed for Panagiota confirmed the information on the ship's manifest: "Haralambakon. Bonus clue: One of the wedding witnesses was her brother in law, Sophocles Karras, aka her traveling companion from the ship.

I was also able to learn the names of Pota's parents: George Nicholas Haralambakos and Antonia "Cavoor." Peter's mother's maiden name was revealed as well though also is a bit illegible. My best guess is Calliope Katseouple. Peter is listed as 32 and Pota as 24 years old.

Finally an WW2 alien register for Tom Harris revealed his true Greek name as Athanasins Haralampakos. Through this name I found a ship's manifest from 1925. He had gone to Greece to fetch his mother Antonia who was 65 years old. They both listed her brother George as their contact in St John, Greece so now I know her maiden name was actually Antonia Kavouris. She and her husband Georgios Charalampakos are listed in the village marriage register as being married on November 8, 1880 in St John.

I wish I could tell my dad.