Part 6: The Confectioner Takes a Bride 1910-1914

Pota Haralampakos

Greek women were a rare commodity in Washington in the early 1900s. An overwhelming number of Greek men came here solo, often with the intention of getting their economic acts together before returning to Greece. By 1911, the Cokinos brothers had created a successful chain of candy stores with their cousins James and Dan.

Ad from Washington Herald November 1911

Peter Cokinos became a naturalized citizen on November 3, 1913. Woodrow Wilson had been inaugurated, and legislation was in the works to deport and restrict immigrants - especially those from Southern Europe.

At this point, no one in our family wanted to go back to Greece involuntarily. The men in our family were here to stay. 

Adam Cokinos found his bride Kalliope Condrackos in Philadelphia. He and “Katy” married there in 1912, and returned to Washington to raise their children. (Katy would introduce her sister Georgia to another Washington Greek, Steve Demas, and Steve gave George Cokinos a badly needed job in 1935, but that's another story.) In the meantime Adam and Katy added three girls to the Cokinos family: Jean, Mary and Thetis.

Being a patriarchal society, the Cokinos men were easier to trace than the maternal side of my family. My father had always stayed in touch with his family in Greece, but when I asked what my grandmother’s maiden name was, he shrugged. It had been so long since the subject came up, he wasn’t even sure how to pronounce her last name. “Haram- something,” he said, shrugging.  He did remember that she sometimes went by “Bertha Harris” which seemed wildly random to me. 

Fortunately I found a wedding announcement in an old photo album which told me the name was Pota Haralampakos. The first two syllables indicate light and joy, and the last -“akos”-refers to being from Laconia which is where Sparta is located. This detail was reassuring since we do know Pota was from that region of Greece.

My father remembered that when Pota first came to this country, she lived with her brother Tom and his family in New Jersey. Dad thought that Tom's wife Christine was less than thrilled by her sister-in-lay's arrival. I think this photo was taken in 1912 - possibly just after Pota moved in with the couple and their son George who was about two years old.

I tried to find out something about Tom Haralampakos on Ancestry, but came up disappointed. Then I remembered what Dad said about Harris so I tried “Tom Harris” in New Jersey and got too many possibilities. Finally I plugged in the name “Harris,” plugged in an estimated birth year and zoomed in on his country of origin by checking a box which said “exactly Greece.”  

Bingo. 

Up popped “Thohas Harris” from Sparta, living in Elizabeth, New Jersey. with his wife Christina and children in both the 1920 and 1930 censuses. 

Tom "Harris" and daughter

A 1915 New Jersey census lists Thomas as a confectioner. The 1920 census mentions that he and his wife, Christine immigrated in 1899. Their eldest child, George, was born in 1910 in Brooklyn. These clues eventually led me to the names of Tom and Pota’s parents: Michael Haralampakos and Stephie Karangla. Although I am not sure of the spellings, I finally learned my great-grandparents names. I wish I could tell my dad.

A few years later, over lunch with Ruby Pelecanos, I happened to learn that the Haralampakos family wasn’t actually from Sparta. Ruby’s father, Nick Kendros, was the same boy who once lived in the back of the Cokinos family candy shop. He eventually met his wife, Kiki (Alice Tagalos), through my grandmother. Curious, I asked Ruby how Pota had come to know Kiki, who was living in Annapolis, Maryland—nearly an hour from Washington, DC

Ruby seemed surprised that I didn’t know. She told me that both Kiki and Pota were from St John (Agios Ioannis) a small village near Sparta. Ruby told me it's like saying you were from DC when you're really from a suburb like Bethesda.

This tiny scrap of information was thrilling to a history nerd like me, and served as an important reminder to talk to older relatives and family friends. The photo below of both of our families on the front porch at 909 11th Street may have been taken by Ruby's father, Nick Kendros. Ruby remembered that he had a camera.

L-R seated : Nick Cokinos, Pota Cokinos, Ruby Kendros (baby in lap of her grandmother) Kiki Kendros and Louis Mandris

My father’s only maternal Greek origin story was a vague one featuring a man who was mowed down by a stray bullet in his own yard. (Ancestry thinks this death happened around 1911.) This was my father's explanation of how his mother Pota came to live with her older brother Tom in the U.S.   I found this old photo in Yiya's album, and it seems to corroborate that her father died as her mother is wearing the traditional black garb of a widow.

Unknown man- perhaps a brother?  Stephi and Pota Haralampakos

According to Greek tradition, marriages were arranged by the parents, and romance wasn’t necessarily a consideration. The potential groom might be consulted on the deal, but girls had little or no say in the matter. If, as in this case, the girl’s father died before she was married, responsibility shifted to an uncle or a brother. This is why I think Pota was shipped off to America to live with Tom and Christine. According to Tom's draft registration in 1917, he and his wife Christine lived at 1056 Elizabeth Ave, Elizabeth, NJ which was not far from Ellis Island. Thomas was born in 1887, he was 30 years old and working as a confectioner with two children.

When trying to figure out when Pota arrived,  I used Ellis Island’s search engine. The closest match was “Panayota Haralambacon.” The ship sailed from Gythio which is the closest port to Sparta, and the date was the same year of arrival that Pota gave to a census taker in 1920; July 8, 1912.

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Back on Ancestry, I plugged “Panayota Haralambacon and the ship’s date and found a digital version of the ship’s original messy document. The first name is almost illegible; and the last name does look like "Haramlambacon," but her home was listed as St John, (thank you, Ruby) and her destination was Elizabeth, New Jersey where she was to live wither her brother. She was described as a 22 year old single woman with black hair and brown eyes, occupation “servant.” All in all, I think this was my grandmother despite the misspelled name.  (The Greek alphabet muddies many names in translation. I have since found a reference to their last name being Harapopo on a Social Security document so I still am not sure of the surname.)

Two years later, possibly through the Greek confectioner’s version of match.com., Pete found his bride still living with her brother, Tom. Though somewhat older, Pete was a handsome, successful bachelor who owned his own home and business.

This was probably an arranged marriage, settled on between the two men....and any record of a courtship is lost to the past, The wedding announcement that I found was concise and to the point. 

“Peter Cokinos and P. Haralampakos will be married on July 30, 1914 at 3 o’clock pm. At 103 First Street, Elizabeth, New Jersey and will leave for Washington the same day at 6 P.m.”

So much for a honeymoon.

If Pete had read The Washington Post on the train to New Jersey that warm summer day, he would have seen a lot of stories speculating about war in Europe. Back in DC, suffragettes were planning to sell kisses as a fundraiser for their fight for the ballot. Woodies was having a sale on mens’ bathing suits, and the Nationals lost to the Tigers in Detroit. Pota was twenty-six years old and had landed in the city where she would spend the rest of her life.